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As conductor Daniele Gatti held the Royal Concertgebouw Orchestra in a breathtaking suspended whisper, the moment should have been utterly transporting – unfortunately, the piercing sound of an unadjusted hearing aid went ringing round the hall like a tiny, whiny theremin

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And you think: “I would love to wear that top, but the neckline is way too low-cut”, or “ That kind of deep v-neck is NOT made for a woman with a full bust ” or “ what the heck am I supposed to wear underneath a plunging neckline like that

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